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Joke of the Day

"Today I found out what it feels like to be discriminated against. I was unfairly labeled a scrub JUST because I was hanging out the passenger side of my best friend's ride."

"Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt"

"What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Beer"

"Why are camels known as the ships of the desert? Because they're filled with Arab semen."

"I play in the band I play the circle, it used to be the triangle but I beat the fuck out of it"

"I can tell if someone's uncomfortable around me just by staring at them for 3 hours."

"What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers."

"My wife's leaving me for refusing to stop referring to our children as my Capri Son and Capri Daughter."

"divorce Wife to husband: I want a divorce. You always tell me I am fat. Husband: Dont be crazy. What about our child ? Wife: What ? What child ? Husband: So you are not pregnant ??"

"What do you call a Mackem thief who travels around on horseback? A Ha'wayman."