19641

Joke of the Day

"My wife's leaving me for refusing to stop referring to our children as my Capri Son and Capri Daughter."

"This youth group broke the number one cardinal rule of making money at a Car Wash. They let the fat chick hold the car wash sign."

"Me: That tree is impeckable ""Don't you mean impeccable?"" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?"

"How many Mexicans are needed to change a light bulb? Juan."

"The woman next to me on this roller-coaster won't stop screaming and shouting. It's like she's never seen a man trimming his pubes before!"

"Just been reading Delia Smith's recipe for scrambled eggs... Apparently ""they should be soft and fluffy."" No you daft bitch that means they've hatched."

"What do a midget and a dwarf have in common? Very little."

"18 years ago my 4rd grade teacher said to me ""You aren't shit and you'll never amount to anything.""... I guess it's safe to say, she was a psychic. Wonder if she can predict the lottery too."

"What did the farmer say to Lil Jon? Turnip for what"

"What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common? Either way, someone is losing a trailer."