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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana? Tiger Woods knows how to pick a good driver."

"Her: Is breakfast almost ready? Me: Yeah, I just have to drain the sausage. Her: Can't we please wait till after breakfast for that?"

"""Trump is a good businessman"" He has a failed steak biz, a failed vodka biz & failed casinos. HOW DO YOU SCREW UP STEAK, VODKA & GAMBLING"

"So this guy steps into the house with a hand full of shit and says to his wife ""look what I almost stepped in!"""

"I don't understand people who practice polygamy. Why would anyone want more than one mother-in-law?"

"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... ...fucking livid..."

"If Mary gave birth to Jesus & Jesus is the lamb of God, then did Mary have a little lamb?"

"Did you hear about the house that lesbians built? It's all tongue in groove."

"If your body is a temple, does than mean that bald guys get to come inside you?"

"I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do... And for the people who like country music, denigrate means put down'."