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Joke of the Day
"I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals... ...fucking livid..."
Next Joke
"One man's sarcastic answer, is another man's stupid question"
"My diet plan is just watching my 400 pound coworker lick her lips and sweat as she describes her dinner from last night."
"So I used to sleep on my carpet... I'd have to say, it was a pretty flooring experience."
"what is the hardest part about having a daughter in your early 20's? Fighting all of those physically fit teenagers when you're in your late 30's."
"Higgs boson walks into a Catholic church Priest says 'you're not allowed in here! Get out!' Higgs Boson looks at him confused, 'but without me you can't have mass.'"
"How did the butcher cure cancer? With salt."
"WHEN I SEE ALL CAPS I READ LIKE THE PERSON IS TALKING RIGHT BY A JET ENGINE, TELLING A CIA AGENT THAT HIS PLAN WON'T WORK...IT'S TOO RISKY"
"What do you name a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter. He won't come."
"What do you call a super kind man who spends too much time on the beach? A tangent"