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Joke of the Day

"Do you ever feel like a tampon? In a good place, but at the wrong time."

"The REAL 5 second rule? If you can get to it before the dog, it's yours."

"My wife asked me to play doctor with her... ...she is now waiting for three hours in front of the bedroom."

"I want to be a host at a restaurant so if someone asks for a booth I can yell, ""YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE BOOTH!"""

"What did the clam with a lisp say to his greedy friend? You're so shelfish!"

"What's the worst thing about owning a console? Memories of your dad leaving you are in 30fps"

"My favorite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger."

"What did the dwarf pimp say to the two prostitutes at the beginning of the night? Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go"

"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better person So I can get a better girlfriend."

"Communist lesbians are the strongest kind They use fists of steel"