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Joke of the Day

"If Kim and Kanye name their next kid North West again, we can comfortably refer to the two as One Direction."

"So Isaac Newton sits under a coconut tree..."

"today, my girlfriend asked me for a dick pic.... but the NASA didn't let me use the Hubble Space telescope.."

"Elephant circumcision... ...The pay's rubbish but the tips are enormous."

"[Wildebeest orbiting the earth in a spacesuit, uselessly kicking its legs madly every time a really grassy part comes into view]"

"How do you choose a stupid policeman from a group of policemen? At random."

"My doctor told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked, ""Why?"" He replied, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"Don't worry if you're not part of a clique. You can get the same experience by running through a minefield."

"What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers? The Elf and Saftey Executive."

"I tried to catch some fog the other day... Mist."