207219

Joke of the Day

"You only live once. Make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet daily, desperately seeking validation from strangers."

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a slice of bread. Doctor: You've got to stop loafing around."

"How did the constipated mathematician solve his problem? With a pencil..."

"So HBO is making a drama about relatives conspiring against eachother to take control of the family pastry company It's going to be called Game of Scones"

"I ran over my wife yesterday I was devastated, but she was crushed"

"I was camping when I lost my virginity. It was in tents."

"When Doves get married in a parallel universe they release screaming humans from the cage."

"How do Russians put windows in? Putin Windows duh."

"Q: What's the most popular afro-american stereotype? A: boombox"

"Don't get me started. I don't come with brakes."