207219

Joke of the Day

"You only live once. Make sure you spend 15 hours on the internet daily, desperately seeking validation from strangers."

"What's the famous Confederacy battle cry? We Surrender!"

"Why was Mrs. Clause's stocking full on December 21st? Because Santa came early this year."

"Boy: Do you have fever? Girl: No why? Boy: Cause you look hot!!!!!"

"Go into the confessional today and see how long it takes the priest to realize you're describing Batman's life."

"What is the difference between a woman on her period and a terrorist? You can negotiate with terrorists"

"When asked about hobbies, don't start lap dancing. #jobinterviewfail"

"What did the duck say to the bartender put it on my bill"

"Two Scarecrows are standing out in a field... One says to the other, ""Hey man!"""

"What followed the Big Bang? The Big Cigarette"