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Joke of the Day

"If Santa Claus and Mrs. Claus had a child what would he be called? A subordinate claus."

"Why would I go to a high school reunion? I have Facebook, I already know who got fat."

"Can a blind person please rub their hands over their dog's nipples and tell me what it says?"

"Roses are infrared Violets are infrared I'm hunting you for sport And soon you'll be dead -a valentine from the Predator"

"A found a dessert trying to sell me military secrets in my bed last night. It was an under covers pie."

"My sister had a threesome with two huge pornstars. Now she's not sure if she had a good time or not. Truth is, she's a little torn."

"Poor Sally (2 parter) Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... **quickly followed by** Knock Knock *Who's there?* Not Sally."

"The meeting with Kim Davis isn't the only thing on his U.S. trip that Pope Francis wanted to keep secret... The engine in his Fiat was a Volkswagen diesel."

"My son is 2,000 years old and still lives with His parents. #loser"

"What did the busy tailor say to the Scarecrow who needed some mending? I can't find the twine."