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Joke of the Day

"I Feel Really Safe There are police helicopter circling my house."

"an advice to every dad,if you wanna see your children just turn the router off,they will suddenly appear.btw ur neighbor might come as well."

"What is the Donner Party's favorite donut? Munchkin."

"A Spanish family surprised me by treating me to dinner. x-post /r/unexpectedcena"

"What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair brown? AI (Artificial Intelligence)"

"smoking I use to smoke, I'll probably never say that I quit but I do stop for intermittent periods. I, like most people, call this lapse in my habit a ""relationship""."

"I stole a futon from a shop. I think the police are after me, so I have beenlying low."

"People say I'm odd because... I CAN'T EVEN"

"Why are Juggalos obsessed with hatchets? Felons can't buy guns"

"Me: are you serious? GF: yes I can't take it anymore, you're too unpredictable Me: [wearing a different shirt] what are you talking about?"