108040

Joke of the Day

"smoking I use to smoke, I'll probably never say that I quit but I do stop for intermittent periods. I, like most people, call this lapse in my habit a ""relationship""."

Next Joke
 
"Did you hear about the woman who got attacked by a gang of mimes? Neither did I."
"What's the proper way to pronounce Mormon? The second m is silent."
"Happy Friday the Thirteenth I think it's bad luck to be superstitious"
"I'm starting a dating app for people who live in Eastern Virginia I'm calling it Chesapeake BAE"
"I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English"
"A pirate walks into a bar. He's got a steering wheel on his belt buckle. The bartender asks ""What's with the steering wheel?"" The pirate says ""ARRGGHH! It's drivin' me nuts."""
"You know its Monday when your left eye wont open and your right eye is twitching."
"Why was the dildo company so successful? Good product placement."
"The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then."