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Joke of the Day

"I will read that article on how procrastination can kill me As soon as I get around to it."

"What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan!"

"*intermittently glances at phone while placing order for 6 burritos so the Chipotle lady thinks they're for multiple people*"

"On a flight with my friend, he asks ""if the door was to blow open would we fall out?"" I reply ""nah I'm pretty sure we'd still be friends"

"Where did Nicholas II of Russia get his coffee? Tsarbucks."

"If you want to say something ""rude"" for the person you hate the most: 'It wouldn't be worth it to buy your voodoo doll, because i would anyways throw it in a fire right away. it's money wasting!"

"Wife at dinner party: ""my husband is always calling me Sarah Palin"" Guests: ""that's funny, why does he call you Sarah Palin?"" Wife: ""because he hates Sarah Palin."""

"What is brown and runny? Usain Bolt"

"Remember when vampires didn't sparkle, and you killed them rather than french kissed them."

"How many cops do you need to change a light bulb? None. They just shoot the room for being black. Credit: donator on some stream said the joke and just wanted to share it."