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Joke of the Day

"What starts with ""f"" and ends with ""uck""? FIRE DUCK O SHIT WADDUP"

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"What's the similarity between a mobile phone and a clitoris? Both turn on with the touch of a finger and every cunt's got one."
"A man approached Bernard on the street.. Bernard was strollin' down the street when a man approached him asking ""Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?"" Bernard pushed him under a truck..."
"Just read an amazing book called ""Zero Gravity"" I couldn't put it down!"
"My 4 yr old asked if I was sick, I said ""Yes, please ask mommy to bring me the Sudafed""... My wife walks by me and says, ""Why do you want soup in bed?"""
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"Take a look at trending topics and you'll realize why they have to write ""do not eat"" on dry silica packets."
"Yes, I read the Internet. But only for the articles."