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Joke of the Day

"GOD: let's make an armored raccoon that turns into a bowling ball ANGEL: but why wou- GOD: and we'll call it an armadillo for some reason"

"I don't know why there has been all this hate lately about trophy hunting exotic animals... As a guy, on a couple of drunken nights I have slayed a few elephants... and a whale."

"What do a tomato and a gay quadriplegic have in common? They are both fruits that are kind of like vegetables."

"What do you call a really, really quiet piece of meat? A shh-kebab. --- I love you too, fellas."

"Why did the apple pie get fired from his job? Because he showed up baked."

"I find it disappointing that the word ""stealth"" doesn't have a silent letter in it."

"What do you call a white, poofy space alien? Martianmallow."

"The Pink Panther's To Do list: - To do - To do - To do, to do, to do, to do, to doooo"

"What do you get when you click to see the punchline? DEEZ NUTS"

"I needed a password eight characters long... ... so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."