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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a boyscout in WWII-era Germany? A knotzi."

"Currently on minute 137 of Easy~Bake Oven cupcakes. I'll be live Tweeting their status as they crisp up over the next day or two."

"All men like to think they are marrying nymphomaniacs.The problem is that, after a few years, the nympho leaves but the maniac doesn't."

"Name a household appliance that you everyday... my wife...but shes gone and i need to do the dishes myself now"

"How do you make an Italian deaf? Tie their hands behind their back."

"Have you ever heard of Skrillex? Ah forget it... I was gonna make a Dubstep joke, but I'll just drop it"

"you know its cold out... when you go outside, and its cold out. (tried this in /r/antijokes , thought the rest of the joke world might appreciate)"

"What did Sushie A say to Sushi B? Wasa-B! Let's roll."

"Marriage is like a deck of cards... In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade."

"GUY: are u in the 1% ME: more like the 2% GUY: well that's still great ME: [wondering why this guy's so in to milk] it's pretty cool I guess"