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Joke of the Day

"What is something that can breakdance on the floor only once on their life? A fish"

"If your surname is Dumpty, don't name your kid Humpty. I mean, seriously."

"I think that laziest animals must be the animals in the seas. There is Sawshark, Hammerheadshark, Electric eel. Still not a single one house completed."

"Whoever invented the ""Knock-Knock"" jokes... Should get a No-Bell prize"

"Q: Did I ever tell you the story about the broken pencil? A: It had no point."

"Why do black people spend so much on their shoes? You would to if you had such a long walk home."

"Me and my girlfriend of 16 years split apart yesterday... It was a bad car accident. I really do miss my right hand."

"[febreze commercial Take 1] We've blindfolded Steve and brought him into this room where we brutally murdered his family a week ago to demonstrate the strong odor fighting power of Febreze"

"I was going to paint my computer black thinking it would run faster... ...but it didn't work."

"Non-tweeting friend: ""So it's like FB?"" Me: ""Except everyone's mean & sarcastic & brutally honest."" ""Sounds awf..."" ""Awesome. I know."""