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Joke of the Day

"I wanna rock with you, but not all night. That's unrealistic."

"""Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous"" ""I see a lot of new faces in here this week and i just have to say I'm really disappointed"""

"<- sleeps well with others"

"im dating: britney spears rn"

"Fact: If you sneak away to fart loudly in private and get caught by some innocent person walking by, you have to now hate that person."

"My grandma accidentally swallowed a fly. Feeding her a spider now..."

"The average person has sex 89 times a year It's gunna be one hell of a week for me."

"Xperia M2 dual my sony xperia m2, hanging so much after updating this new year, even when using facebook and making a call, any one faced this problem"

"What's the difference between light and hard? You can't sleep with a light on"

"My microwave broke. So, we're finding innovative alternatives. Did y'all know the surface on top of the oven heats up, too? Honest to God."