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Joke of the Day

"A survey asked me if I was dyslexic I checked the option for ""sye."""

"I tried 12 times to fit this joke in the 140 character limit, and I think I've finally done it. A caterpillar walks into a bar and says, ""Wh"

"Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn't see himself in a mirror."

"I bet you 5390.24$ you can't guess how much money I owe my parents."

"What do a 9 volt battery and a woman's asshole have in common? You know you don't want to, but eventually you are going to lick them both"

"I learned from 'The Exorcist' That when it comes to souls, possession is 9/10 of the law. Changed slightly from a comment made by /u/boobiesucker"

"What is the difference between my ex-girlfriend and a beer? One is pale, bitter and starts off with lots of head and the other one is a beer."

"Did you hear about the guy who illegally downloaded Free Fallin' and Refugee? He was charged with Petty theft."

"A neutron walks into a bar and asks the barman ""hey how much for a drink?"" The barman replies ""For you, no charge"" Bazinga!"

"What do you call a reptile wearing a vest? An investigator. Ba dum tss."