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Joke of the Day

"Bill Clinton voted for Hillary Clinton in the electoral college today. First known instance of him being faithful."

Next Joke
 
"Kesha dropping the $ sign from her name just shows how bad the economy really is"
"What kind of medicine do bears take? Bayer Asprin"
"What are mixed feelings? Watching your mother-in-law backing up towards the edge of a cliff in your new BMW."
"My mom moved me away from Texas as a kid, statistically decreasing the chance I ever get the death penalty and that's pretty cool"
"You can find true happiness inside yourself! Haha, almost had you. I'll meet you at the liquor store."
"ME: *does entire national anthem with armpit farts* WIFE: see what I mean? THERAPIST: Mmmhmm *writes in notes: ""she's nuts. This guy rules*"
"Sorry, grandma. You stood up. You have to be Slim Shady now."
"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense"
"You are free to criticize athletes. They are free to criticize you too of course, but they don't, because your job is dull and no one cares."