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Joke of the Day

"What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog? A hen that lays pooched eggs."

"I have a sore throat, a sinus headache, a paper cut, and I miss my kitties. No one has suffered as much as I have on a Friday."

"5 years ago, I asked the love of my life on a date. Yesterday, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times. Posted this on r/funny and was told to post it here also."

"If Jesus was a cat we'd have nine Easters."

"I just like to sleep naked... The flight attendant could have been a bit more understanding."

"I call my bedroom 'The place where the magic happens' because one night a guy locked me in a box and tried to saw me in half."

"DOROTHY: What do these shoes do? GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame [tries new pair] And these? G: Wait- D: [clicks heels] [turns into hamburger]"

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile. I said that's a big word for a nine year old."

"Let's all smash our hands together repeatedly to indicate that we enjoyed that thing."

"I wonder if Bruce Jenner got wished a happy Mother's Day. Title"