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Joke of the Day

"5 years ago, I asked the love of my life on a date. Yesterday, I asked her to marry me. She said no both times. Posted this on r/funny and was told to post it here also."

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot, you assholes."

"Only one Chinese man lived in my hometown, and I still couldn't tell him apart."

"What was the Mathematician's Favorite Johnny Depp Movie? 's of the Carribean."

"Who would rule in a dog world ? The pawlice."

"I need to get something off my chest... It's called breast cancer. I'm so sorry."

"Hubs: Kids are still asleep! Know what that means? Me: We have to be quick! *Runs to the hidden box of Cocoa Puffs and pours 2 big bowls*"

"I broke up with my gym We were just not working out."

"Why do most men die before their wives? Because they want to"

"It costs over 200,000 dollars to raise a child these days. And that's just for alcohol."