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Joke of the Day

"I have a sore throat, a sinus headache, a paper cut, and I miss my kitties. No one has suffered as much as I have on a Friday."

"What do nearsighted gynecologists and a puppy have in common? A wet nose."

"""In just 4 years, you can get a 4 year degree!"" Yes, ""university"" commercial--that math checks out."

"Why don't old people have sex? Have you ever opened up a grilled cheese?"

"I'm so introverted I won't even talk to myself."

"""At least your heart's in the right place,"" I say, softly running my hand across a translucent take-out container."

"Helping a gang of squirrels buy remote control cars against my better judgment."

"The seven dwarves were sitting in a sauna feeling happy so happy got up and left"

"The doctor told the couple to eat lemons before sex to avoid pregnancy. ........But there was a mis-conception."

"I like my men like i like my coffee Not from starbucks"