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Joke of the Day

"2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the hooker? The one wearing the sack that reads IDAHO"

"1. You're confined to a hospital bed. 2. You're 11. 3. You sustained brain damage in a car accident. - Reasons to watch shows on ""The CW"""

"I'm going to pretend you didn't say that. ...because I don't have time to get arrested today."

"So this cravat came up to me and started weeping... ...I thought ""I can't *stand* emotional ties"""

"Where do sad Ukrainians go? Crimea River."

"Being with a whore.... Is like sitting on a warm toilet seat. You didn't see the last guy leave, but you know someone was just there."

"Two Irishmen walk out of a bar"

"How do spacemen pass the time on long trips ? They play astronauts and crosses !"

"One of my students told me he was drinking formic acid to settle his indigestion. After all, I suppose it is an *ant* acid."

"If I ever get a llama, I'm totally naming it Dalai."