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Joke of the Day

"2 potatoes standing on the side of the road. How can you tell which one is the hooker? The one wearing the sack that reads IDAHO"

"You can't spell Chipotle without E. Coli"

"A blind man walks into a bar And then a chair. And then a table"

"What's the best thing about living in Switzerland? It's hard to pick one, but the flag is a big plus."

"Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon? Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4."

"If Lance Armstrong and Oscar Pistorius have taught us anything, it's don't trust athletes with missing body parts"

"My little sister is bringing her black boyfriend to my grandparents' house for Thanksgiving so I'm bringing popcorn and a comfortable chair."

"Snail Racing My friend owned a racing snail. It never won any races so he removed the shell to make it go faster. Sadly it didn't work, if anything it made it more sluggish"

"Why did Eeyore cross the road? To get to the other... *sigh*"

"What do lawyers use for birth control? Their personalities."