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Joke of the Day

"I read an interesting stat online the other day.... Apparently 1 in two and a half men are HIV positive."

"Take a deep breath. Good. Now count to 10. Right. Now slap someone in their face. Nice. Feel better?"

"Why did the chicken cross the road I parked across from the grocery store."

"Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxis."

"Two Jews walk into a bar... Midget Hitler laughs and walks under it."

"Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses."

"My girlfriend broke up with me for making too many Linkin Park references. It pushed me One Step Closer to the Edge."

"Whenever someone on a plane reclines their seat into you, pull them back even further and whisper in their ear, ""Keep going."""

"What is the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon and Michael Jackson likes to fuck little boys..."

"Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they."