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Joke of the Day

"Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving."

"Today it was so cold in the morning that.. I saw a democrat with his hand in his own pocket."

"When does a van become a can? when it travels at the speed of light, i.e v=c.."

"I'm shit at telling jokes. I always punch up the fuck line."

"""It's not you, it's me."" -Twins looking at some family photos"

"Why did the werewolf become a proctologist? He only has to work on full moons"

"You Must Be From Ireland Because everytime I see you my penis be Dublin."

"Every night, I take all of the singles out of my wallet, spread them on the bed, and pretend I was pretty that day."

"What do you get when you combine two Japanese demons? A two-eyed onion."

"Jesus drove a Honda but didn't talk about it. *""For I did not speak of my own Accord""* (John 12:49)"