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Joke of the Day

"A wife comes home and says, ""Pack your bags, honey, I just won the lottery!"" The guy says, ""Great darling. Should I pack for the ocean or the mountains?"" She says, ""I don't care, get out!"""

"I love watching the wife sleep. Not so much the husband."

"If you ever need some really poor grammar I'm you're guy"

"What do dark humour and food have in common? Only some people get it."

"Judge: State your name. Me: Not Guilty Judge: What? Me: I had it legally changed. Judge: You're Not Guilty? Me: *moonwalks outta there*"

"Why do hot girls always travel in threes? Because they can't even."

"My wife asked me to go down to the shop to pick up six cans of sprite... When I got to the checkout I realized I accidentally picked 7-up."

"What does a redneck say after sex? Thanks, sis."

"Is Monica Lewinsky good at the piano? I don't know about the piano, but she sucks at the organ."

"A boy who couldn't hear, smell, taste or feel punched me in the head yesterday. I told him ""there was no need for senseless violence"""