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Joke of the Day

"Someone was told me that they were an actor. I told them I wanted coconut milk in my chai latte."

"We all know the old saying ""I named my dick 'The Truth' cause bitches can't handle it..."" I call mine ""The Plea Bargain"" cause ladies only take it as a last resort."

"I shot two camera lenses out of two cannons into each other at high speed... ...I wanted to make a kaleidoscope"

"Top uses for a bathroom exhaust fan: 3. Remove moisture from the air 2. Remove odor from the air 1. Cover up disgusting sounds"

"What is your favorite change a lightbulb joke?"

"""You are what you eat."" I'm about 90% burrito."

"Sports: The legal way to buy a black person."

"Variants for running. Variants for running:- 1. Hot girl in front of you. 2. Creepy guy behind you. (If 1 applies to you, you're probably 2)"

"Me: I won't be in due to a VOLCANO Boss: ..we live, in Florida..? Me: IRRELEVANT Boss: Me: *opens 3rd bottle of vodka, puts on arm floaties*"

"I gave all my batteries away free of charge."