206492

Joke of the Day

"I bet when they discovered the radish everyone was like ""Let's name it Rad!"" and one guy was all ""Let's dial that back a bit."""

"Batman walks into a Wayne Enterprise meeting and starts talking stocks. He realises he forgot to change. He drops a gas pellet and runs out."

"I nicknamed my girlfriend melody Because its loudest and always on top"

"PRO TIP: Stall your execution by asking if the lethal injection chemicals are gluten-free."

"I just made the greatest construction-related pun of all time Works on so many levels"

"In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore? A hole in it."

"What happens when you put your hand in a jar of jelly beans The black ones steal your watch"

"Fun fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, you can hear a faint, ""Marco"" and then an even fainter, ""Polo."""

"Two monitors are at a new years party... One says ""So, what's your new years resolution?"" The other replies ""1080p""."

"If you think I'm flirting with you, I'm just being friendly. If you think I'm weird and I make you uncomfortable, I'm flirting with you."