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Joke of the Day

"Batman walks into a Wayne Enterprise meeting and starts talking stocks. He realises he forgot to change. He drops a gas pellet and runs out."

"How do you know when a joke has gone too far? It's elected President."

"What's Snoop Dogg's favorite time of day? Tree O'clock!"

"What did Tiger Woods' dad tell him on his death bed? ""Just concentrate on golf and fuck everything else"""

"What's the difference between babies and cats People want to see pictures of your cat."

"I asked to switch seats because there was a god damn SCREAMING infant next to me, and I couldn't sleep. They told me no. Apparently you're not allowed to move away from your own child."

"My parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said I wanna watch. So they let me"

"I think gallows humor is gaining popularity. Then again, I wouldn't know. I'm always out of the loop."

"How do you put an elephant in a Safeway bag? Take the ""s"" out of Safe and the ""f"" out of way."

"Why do people carry around umbrellas? Because they can't carry themselves"