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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend said I was too controlling ... and it wasn't her turn to speak."
Next Joke
"How do you make Holy Water? Boil the hell out of it."
"My wife's cooking is so bad We say our prayers after the food"
"My Girlfriend used to go down on me all the time... ...so I fixed the puncture"
"Do you think the dude that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?"
"I just poured out a bottle of Listerine for my homie Steve Buscemi, who we've lost to gingivitis."
"I like it soft and warm. Uh huh. Yea girl, go ahead and throw that figgy pudding in the microwave for a bit."
"Fitbits are the selfies of exercise."
"Lost and Found I was reading the lost and found section of the paper and saw this: ""Found, one black boy's bicycle."" Wonder how they knew?"
"My parrots are stuck together... Pet owner: Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together! Vet: I'm sorry, I don't understand - it's toucan fusing"