204522

Joke of the Day

"My parrots are stuck together... Pet owner: Vet, vet, my parrots are stuck together! Vet: I'm sorry, I don't understand - it's toucan fusing"

"It's been 50 years since The Jetsons showed us a wacky science-fiction world where you could afford two kids and a house with just one job."

"My friend said he was going to become a mime I haven't heard from him in a while"

"What did one snowman say to another snowman... Do you smell carrots!?"

"I don't think this whole White House scandal is good for parents. I caught my six year old son David in a lie and he said we could discuss it tonight in a ""National Town Meeting."""

"Sometimes when my boyfriend makes a racist joke I am like Ugh why did I even imagine you?"

"What is the loneliest bayou in Louisiana? Bayou self"

"What's the difference between a cheap hooker and an expensive one? You'll get crabs from the cheap one, and lobsters from the other. Heard this years ago, hope this ain't a repost. Cheers"

"Someone stole your tiny Stradivarius? Aw, poor baby, I'm playing the world's smallest violin for you. It's, uh, a different one. Gotta go."

"Why did Mr Ohm marry Mrs Ohm? Because he couldn't resistor... Old but classic!"