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Joke of the Day

"I made a bold statement by not buying two night-stands for my bedroom. I'm a one night stand kind of man."

"Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound."

"Downhill is probably the only way I can honestly say I've rolled."

"How does the female reproductive system like to order its eggs? Ovaries-y"

"She asked if I wanted to eat ass... I said no because it'll taste like shit"

"Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ? Because he had his own scales !"

"Saw a guy in the gym, ahead of me on the Lat pulldown machine, wearing a David Luiz T-Shirt Needless to say, I got past him."

"Man gets left side crushed in car accident. But don't worry he's all right now"

"Kanye West agreed to play Santa Claus under the condition that children had to ask him what he wanted for Christmas."

"Why are gardeners good at spreading religion. Because they can plant churches."