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Joke of the Day

"*bullies advance* STOP! Im a black belt in Shaq Fu! <laughter> *detectives arrive* Jesus, were these heads slam-dunked? Where r the bodies?"

"I was having sex with a woman when her husband came early. Premature ejaculation is killing our sex life."

"Why did the University of Kentucky have to put AstroTurf down on the stadium? To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime."

"Why isn't soap cool? Because it's basic."

"I once told my dad: ""I feel there are a good and a bad wolf in me fighting for control. But which one will win in the end?"" He said: ""The one you feed."""

"My neighbors look so happy. We can fix that."

"What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler Usain Bolt can finish a race."

"How does Donald Trump tie his shoes? In little knotsies."

"Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere **Knock Knock** Who's there? Not Sally."

"The best jokes are the ones that cause the audience to groan. So I suppose the best of the best cause constipation."