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Joke of the Day

"Greatest Fears: -Sharks -Ebola -Bears -Bear Sharks -Bear Sharks with Ebola -Sharks with Lazers -Man carrying a clipboard on the sidewalks"

"COW: I'm constipated DR DOG: when was ur last bowel moooo-vement lol C: ur doing puns right now? DD: gonna milk this for all its worth lmao"

"My dad has a great idea for Donald Trump's campaign slogan. ""Vote for me in 2016 or there'll be hell toupee."""

"I would make a Sodium and Hydrogen joke but... The fine bros own the rights to it :("

"I don't know if I like my new haircut, but it will grow on me."

"My hard driving, asshole boss just quit the company, he announced he's moving to Taiwan! apparently he has a Taipei personality ... Sorry for the Taipo - /u/damn_wiston"

"What's the worst kind of media? chlamydia"

"Why doesn't Superman like the Mummy? Because the Mummy's always saying, ""I'll be in the crypt tonight."""

"I was going to tell you a joke about hipsters. But you probably wouldn't understand."

"Does anyone know how to save your game on twitter I've been playing for 2 years straight my mom is pissed"