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Joke of the Day

"My hard driving, asshole boss just quit the company, he announced he's moving to Taiwan! apparently he has a Taipei personality ... Sorry for the Taipo - /u/damn_wiston"

"I was gonna put on my watch. But I didn't have the time."

"Whats all of this fuss about reposts? I haven't seem any all year! (It's 12:00 NZST)"

"Darn it A man was walking around his backyard in his stocking feet and stubbed his toe on a rock. His sock exclaimed ""I'll be darned!"""

"How do you start a baby shower? Throw it into a wood chipper."

"I get nervous about DM's asking if it's me in video because: 1. I drink. 2. I sometimes dance when drunk. 3. I'm always white when I dance."

"Australia is touted as a great model of gun control but no one mentions our unlimited access to boomerangs."

"The Bible is so unrealistic, Noah's wife would have never allowed two spiders on that boat."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six offender."

"CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out"