205971

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Polish bank robber? Tied up the safe and blew the guard."

"What do fish think about air? It's UN-B-REATHABLE!"

"What spends a good 3 hours a day in my hand? *hint* it starts with P and ends with S. Pens! :D ... wait what were YOU THINKING?!?!?!"

"Owls are just nocturnal pug birds"

"Q: What's the good part about having alzheimer's? You can hide your own easter eggs."

"I think it's weird how President Obama appointed George Clooney Secretary Of Handsome. #DNC"

"Did you hear that the Indian bakery closed? I guess it was a naan-profit business."

"What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby? I don't ejaculate on an apple before I eat it."

"A book just fell on my head. I've only got my shelf to blame."

"""I have something I'd like to get off my chest"" is what I would say if I had a third nipple."