205937
Joke of the Day
"My dad has a weird hobby, he collects empty bottles. Which sounds a lot better than alcoholic."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."
"A man and a woman walk into an elevator The man asks the woman, can I smell your feet? The woman looks at him with disgust and says no. The man says, it must be your vagina then."
"Being on twitter has made my spelling, grammar and vocabulary so much gooder."
"My school always awarded dictionaries to the spelling bee winners. Which was weird because it should actually be awarded to the losers."
"Fleetwood Mac Money has gone missing from Fleetwood Mac's dressing room again. They're starting to suspect Stevie Nicks."
"What do you call a sinking ship full of condiments? Sinko de Mayo"
"How do you keep a blonde busy? Write ""Please turn over"" on both sides of a page and hand it to her."
"With Fifty Shades of Grey that came out today, cinemas should serve ketchup... ...for all the fish fingers"
"Two guys see a dog licking his balls... The first guy says ""Man, I wish I could do that!"" The second guy replies, ""Maybe you should try petting him first"""