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Joke of the Day

"I named my hard drive ""dat ass"" so once a month my computer asks if I want to 'back dat ass up'."

"I tried pot brownies for the first time yesterday They tasted funny, since you usually cook brownies in a pan instead of a pot."

"The one huge advantage of being dumb ... you never overthink things."

"Why couldn't Mario ever watch Netflix with Peach? Because the princess was always on another Castle."

"I don't just talk to myself. I talk to myself, get in a debate, lose, and then refuse to speak to myself for the rest of the day."

"What are cranes made of? Cranium."

"Twelve years ago today, my brother gave me one of his kidneys. I still can't believe that he did it. I wasn't even sick."

"I raised the alarm at work today... The midgets were furious."

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan."

"I barely slept last night; I kept dreaming about mufflers. I'm exhausted."