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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst thing to read in Braille? Don't touch this."

"Why did god invent the yeast infection? So women would know what it's like living with an irritating cunt."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar and one looks to the other and says ""man, I can't believe I blew 40 bucks in there."""

"My friends are starting to figure out that I got Botox in my forehead because I can't raise my eyebrows. Why am I not surprised?"

"*Tips fedora at a mosquito* M'laria"

"I once dated a woman who thought windmills were solar powered. I'm so glad I don't drink anymore."

"I consider anything that doesn't fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use."

"How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for? Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)"

"[1st date] ""My birthday is on April 20th, so 4/20. Isn't that cool? When's yours?"" Oh, umm *sweating* Sextember 69th"

"TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's. Apparently they opposed integration."