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Joke of the Day

"TIL several states in the South banned calculus from schools in the 1950's. Apparently they opposed integration."

"If you're ever interested in having a near death experience just tell a girl she's not hot enough to be that crazy."

"My girlfriend threw a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at me. It's OK though, I only have super fish oil injuries."

"I was verbally abused as a child. The bigger verbs at school would kick my ass. ""Stop conjugating yourself!"" they'd say mockingly."

"Fact. The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds."

"How do you spell Canada? C-Eh?-N-Eh?-D-Eh?"

"If you have sex with a prostitute while she's passed out, is it rape? Or shoplifting?"

"GOD: They scared enough? ANGEL: Not yet GOD: You got Trump running? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Hurricane? ANGEL: Yup GOD: Ok, send in the clowns."

"My sexual fetishes my sexual fetishes have been getting more and more perverse ever so slowly. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I had hit rock bottom."

"How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb? None, the changes necessary will come from within."