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Joke of the Day

"How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for? Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)"

"airplane food whats up with that?"

"What does Moses do when he wants a beer? He brews!"

"Are you ready to be disappointed?"

"My friend started jogging so he'd live longer. He got hit by a bus and died the next day."

"I don't always tell Dad jokes... But when I do, he laughs."

"I hate when films say "" 'MAY' contain nudity?"" Either it does or it doesn't. DON'T WASTE MY TIME"

"Who is the scariest hobbit? Lorena"

"#WhyDoPeopleThinkItsOkayTo replace letters in words with numbers....well now i don't feel like reading the math equation you just sent me"

"i'm fat but at least i'm not ""my facebook profile picture is a pokemon"" fat"