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Joke of the Day
"One day Canada will take over the world. Then we'll all be sorry."
Next Joke
"Broccoli is like anal sex. If you didn't like it forced on you as a child you probably won't like it as an adult."
"Who's the most self-centered Muppet? Beaker. All he says is ""Me Me Me."""
"Yo mama's so old... Her age has to be expressed in scientific notation!"
"O. J. Simpson When O. J. Simpson's kids wanted to go out and play, what did he tell them? ""Go axe your mother."""
"I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back Apparently, that is an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."
"So I was petting a duckling the other day... you could say I was feeling a little down."
"Aren't horses just Eunuchorns?"
"Rules for being a good neighbor: 1. MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS 2. Don't forget rule number one."
"[chess tournament] RIVAL: [plays move] ME: [knocks board aside. punches rival in face] Chess! COMMENTATOR: He's won every round this way"