2674

Joke of the Day

"Her: Wasn't it fun cutting down our own Christmas tree? Me: Yea, especially when that guy chased us out of his yard..."

"Nothing makes me scream louder during sex than when my husband calls to let me know he's on his way home from work."

"Reading a Chinese newspaper is like looking at 1,000 douchebag tattoos at once."

"My wife screams like crazy during sex... ...especially when I walk in on her!!!"

"What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic? He charges you double."

"One sneeze: Bless you. Two sneezes: Ugh, bless you. Three sneezes: Silence. Four sneezes: We'll never be as close as we once were."

"She has the body of a goddess and the face to defend it."

"(Watching Liar Liar) Wife: If you couldn't lie for 24 hrs, how much longer would we be married? Me: Until the end of this movie."

"Hate when the grammar police single me out like some kind of which hunt"

"How did I get out of Iraq? I ran"