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Joke of the Day

"CHRISTMAS TIP: When your kid starts asking questions about whether Santa is real, just tell him to shut up."

"I'm thinking of changing my name to Attention so i can get paid"

"What would you do if you were a ghost?"

"Nobody gracefully gets out of a beanbag chair."

"Me: so I've been a little unclear regarding everything you've asked me to do since Monday Boss: Jesus Me: let me finish. In February. 2011."

"As individuals we are weak like a twig... But as group we might become a mighty faggot."

"Ten words, two commas, a punctuation mark and a full stop all appeared in court yesterday. They're due to be sentenced next week."

"A decepticon is a just a cheeky emoticon at the end of a message intended to excuse the sender and confuse the recipient. Ex: Please die ;)"

"Waiter: how did you two meet Me: this is actually a blind date W: *much louder* SORRY I SAID HOW DID YOU TWO MEET"

"Any jokes for friday the 13 & Valentines day? :) Just wondering if anyone had some good oneliners, maybe even dad jokes, about valentines day amd frifay the thirteenth :)"