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Joke of the Day

"Me: so I've been a little unclear regarding everything you've asked me to do since Monday Boss: Jesus Me: let me finish. In February. 2011."

"And Jesus said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"". But John came fifth, and won a toaster."

"The teacher speaking to a student said, ""Saud, name two pronouns."""

"Boss: Are you drinking liquor at work? *flashes back to pouring apple juice into a whiskey bottle bc I couldn't find a thermos* ""Yes"""

"I used to work at an orange juice factory... I got fired cuz I couldn't concentrate"

"What Do You Call A Rainy Spelling Bee? Alphabet Soup."

"Why did Bill Cosby go to the gynecologist? He heard they carried rape kits."

"*makes direct eye contact with an vaginas* what in the fuck kind of a boobs are this"

"The US did not boycott the 1980 Summer Olympics in Moscow due to political reasons: Chuck Norris killed the entire US team with a single round-house kick during TaeKwonDo practice."

"Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's blind you racist!"