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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar? They got six months each."

"why did the hipster burn his lips? he drank coffee before it was cool"

"My ex can't take his new girlfriend to basketball games because she gets pissed when the whole stadium makes fun of her by yelling REBOUND!"

"What do you call a cheap wig? A small price toupee."

"is this Sara? hi, this is Tom from HS. my god its been years! Anyway, im calling because u changed your HBO Go password & I need the new one"

"I'm not a doctor... so my understanding of Parkinsons is a little shaky."

"What is your name? Hugh Mungus"

"Don't date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison."

"I don't mean to brag about my patience, but I just waited 5 whole seconds before passing a student driver and flicking them off."

"I don't see why everyone is up in arms about Oscar Pistorius.... Haven't we all woken up legless and fired a few into the missus?"