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Joke of the Day

"I don't mean to brag about my patience, but I just waited 5 whole seconds before passing a student driver and flicking them off."

"What's the difference between scouts and jews? The scouts return from camp."

"What do you call a chameleon that doesn't change color? A reptile dysfunction."

"Avoid cars that have a sign saying 'baby on board'. That driver has only had a couple of hours sleep and is likely to be suicidal."

"What did one egg say to the other? It's just a Yolk!!"

"Why did the coffee file a police report? Because it was mugged."

"how do you organize a party in space? you planet."

"Three blondes walked into a building you'd think one of them would have seen it..."

"All I want for Christmas is my own perfume commercial where I say random words like 'hope' and 'passion' & look like a date rape victim."

"What do neutrinos and I have in common? We're always penetrating your mom"