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Joke of the Day

"A Call for Assistance by Linda Hand"

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"I want to steal someone's phone who has 8000 followers and retweet the fuck out of myself"
"Someone stole my mood ring. I don't know how i feel about that."
"Knock knock -Honda. -Honda who? -*Honda the wings of love*"
"If I had 2 fish I would name them 1 and 2 so if 1 died I would still have 2."
"Dear guys wearing skinny jeans, I... Can't.... Breathe.... Sincerely, your damn balls."
"Went on ChristianMingle .com and kept asking myself, ""Who Would Jesus Do""?"
"A 12 year old posts a selfie, 37 RTs and 1013 likes. I post a selfie, I lose 18 followers and my family disowns me."
"What did O say to Q? Your boto is showing!"
"Want to know how to make your PC faster? Paint it black."