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Joke of the Day

"A Call for Assistance by Linda Hand"

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"So I brought a girl home from the bar last night... When we got to bed, she said ""Give me twelve inches and make me bleed!"" So I fucked her twice and punched her in the face."
"What do you call a bear with no teeth? A faggot with dentures."
"What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts"
"I found my inner self today... I am never buying cheap toilet paper ever again."
"What did the geologist say when he got a rock for his birthday? I appreciate the sediment."
"gf: Daddy me: don't call me that it's creepy gf: Sorry Baby me: that's better"
"A local nightclub held a special ladies night for double amputees. The place was crawling with pussy."
"Why is my kitchen floor so gross I just mopped like 3 months ago."
"My kid just put on an apron and made homemade brownies so forget the world, I'm not even the best mom in my house anymore."