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Joke of the Day

"I found my inner self today... I am never buying cheap toilet paper ever again."

"What did the camel toe say to the moose nuckle on New Years eve? Let's get toe up!"

"What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early? Christian Bale."

"Have you seen the clown that hides from gay people?"

"I watched the movie San Andreas today and I really enjoyed it Despite its faults."

"[traffic stop] COP: where ya headed? ME: on my way home COP: *shining flashlight in my backseat* ME: look at me when I'm speaking to you"

"How do you circumcise a red-neck? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"""Have u seen my cat?"" ""I saw a cat down the road?"" ""Really? [shows me a picture] was it this cat?"" ""No, the one I saw was dead."""

"Sitting behind a couple in this theater that's making out. I'm gonna lean forward and whisper ""This is nice"" in a minute."

"What do a carjacker and pervert have in common? They're always cracking in-ya-windows!"