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Joke of the Day

"My kid just put on an apron and made homemade brownies so forget the world, I'm not even the best mom in my house anymore."

"Why was the Adobe Acrobat document arrested? It was a PDF file."

"Are you ready for TheDivision's upcoming DLC? TheAddition? If not, you might like its already-existing-but-cut-for-later content TheSubstraction."

"What do you call going Doctor to Doctor... What do you call going Doctor to Doctor to figure out what your inflammatory bowel disease is called? A Game of Crohn's."

"Want to hear a construction joke? I'm still working on it."

"I think it works! GUYS! I just invented time travel!"

"How many vegans does it take to eat a bacon cheeseburger? One if nobody's looking."

"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm. Well wouldn't you look silly riding a cow? I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"

"What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon? dis counts!!"

"What did one ISIS militant teacher say to their most successful student? You da bomb."