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Joke of the Day

"FRED MONSTER: My sister must be twenty. I counted the rings under her eyes. BERT MONSTER: That's nothing. My sister's tongue is so long she can lick an envelope after she's posted it."

Next Joke
 
"A lot of people think boogers are funny But they're snot."
"[Amazing Comeback] So I was reading comments on a LGBT friendly add(Android's #AndProud) > I hate fucking gays >> Stop having sex with gays then."
"Forrest Whitaker turned 51 today, his right eye turned 47."
"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work."
"Your Mom's so stupid... That when the teacher asked her to do an essay, she fucked a mexican."
"Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up."
"Yes, I do have a stalker. They call me every day, will occasionally buy me underwear, and know more about me than I do. I call her ""Mom."""
"I met Lance Armstrong after a party Me: So, Lance, how was the party? Lance (Pensively glancing at the whisky): I had a ball."
"Why did the phone get away with its crime? Because it had good connections!"